


Hollow

by expatri8



Category: Shall We Date?: Obey Me!
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Depression, Other, Self-Harm, Suicide, Suicide Attempt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-04-02
Updated: 2020-04-02
Packaged: 2021-03-01 02:00:28
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,772
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23437330
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/expatri8/pseuds/expatri8
Summary: The Avatar of Greed, a title no living being will ever have to bare again- or at least Mammon won't anymore.
Comments: 58
Kudos: 372





	Hollow

**Author's Note:**

> Please please PLEASE be safe while reading this, please pay close attention to the tags. This is a heavy handed fic and a slight vent about the treatment Mammon received in Canon.   
> If you are suffering suicidal thoughts or ideation please know that I love you. I promise, it's worth moving forward instead of hitting escape   
> I love you.  
> Be safe. 💙

It started slow, with Mammon paying off his debt to Lucifer all in one go. It was suspicious as FUCK and Lucifer didn't trust it. Mammon simply waved him off, "Listen! I just want it off my chest once and for all ok. I...uh... maybe have been plannin' to do this for a while ok.... Just. Just take it before I change my mind!!!" He assured him, his trademark flustered blush showing itself. Lucifer was sated. He shouldn't have been.

Lucifer knew this. He was only temporarily Sated. He finds Mammon is suddenly paying back Leviathan as well. And Satan. And Beel.

_ What the fuck was going on? _

Everyone was absolutely freaked the fuck out now. He and in turn the house had been quieter than norm for weeks anyways. He'd actually been working too they noticed, besides his modeling gigs. He'd come home late smelling like Hell's kitchen and sometimes the perfumes from Majolish.

Was this a change for the better??? Was Mammon finally learning??? Lucifer couldn't help but hope so. Ever since MC had come into their lives everyone seemed changed for the better. They where back in the human realm now, but perhaps they had been talking? If anyone could get through to him it was Mc. By Diavolo he hoped he was changing for the better so badly.

The truth was less hopeful. No. Mammon wasn't changing for the better. He was changing for the worse and he didn't even care how miserable it made him. He just didn't want to leave any loose ends for anyone else to have to tie up. He'd even met a lawyer in secret. After all when he got serious about it he had ways to make the money flow in, so  _ of course _ he could meet with a lawyer in secret. And in secret, make sure he had a functioning Will. Mammon would make sure to divide all of his loot evenly amongst his brothers and save a bit if the mushy stuff just for Mc. "Mc's the only one who'll be affected by this." He'd told himself as he aquired the celestial bindings from some of the witches. "My brothers will be sad maybe to lose their punching bag, but they'll get over it. They don't need me. They have Lucifer, and Lucifer definatly doesn't need me." 

It was a few more days of quiet from mammon. The house was.... peaceful almost. No one was comfortable with it. It wasn't lively anymore, and a feeling of uneasy quiet filled most of them as they noticed an empty chair at dinner.

"Did mammon say he was going out tonight?"

"... no I don't think he did..."

"... I will go check. Beel don't even think about touching his or my plate in my absence." Lucifer warned before heading to Mammon's room. He paused when he heard how....  _ quiet _ it was in there. Usually he'd have his tv or music going if he'd simply lost track of time. His light wasn't on.... Maybe he really had stepped out and forgotten to tell anyone? He was a bit of a birdbrain at times...

But then he heard it, the sound of a soft sob. Mammon would only cry at the very end of his punishments, when he was in his deepest state of defeat. If it was from a movie or a show he'd be blubbering loudly but this? This was a concerning quiet. Lucifer carefully pressed his ear to the door to listen...

"Maybe. No... please.... I'll accept whatever you do to me next Father... just please let them forgive me..." Mammon whispered as he stared down the holy noose before him and for a moment he thought it almost looked like a Halo begging for him to come home. He gave himself another brief moment of contemplation, regret hitting as he thought about the pain he'd cause MC, before a steeling breath.  _ They'd get over him. _

The words Lucifer heard insighted both a rage and a panic in him, causing him to nearly break the damn door from how hard he opened it. The scene inside broke his heart in 10 thousand little ways he never thought possible.

Mammon was there, on a stool. Before him a noose made of holy threads, the only light in the room. Mammon was in his true form, having tied his own wrists together to stop himself from being able to not commit. Lucifer's mind was on overload and all he could think to do was tackle him now, get him as far from it as he could. It was lucky the firstborn was always just a bit quicker on the draw than his brother.

"Hey-!" Mammon hissed, Frustrated his carefully laid plans where suddenly failing. Shit. He planned to make it nice and easy really. He'd let his money say the goodbyes for him.... He didn't want to see the disgust in his brothers faces if they realized just how weak he really was. He didn't want to feed their scorn in a way he could feel right now. He just wanted it all to stop so badly, he thought if he just.  _ Why did Lucifer even stop him??? _

"What's the big idea asshole? I was almost not your problem anymore.... I-I paid off all my debts, I even left you somethin' good in my will! Why the fuck did you stop me??" Mammon cried, fear and anger coursing in his veins.

Lucifer could only stare down at his little brother in horror at the words that left him with such sincerity. Had he really led Mammon to believe he was only worth his weight in gold to him? Was he not giving him enough advice? Enough time? Enough love??? What had he done so wrong, for it to come to this...

And for the first time since the fall, Mammon saw his Big Brother cry. Not just cry, but sob. Lucifer was sobbing and wrapping his arms around him awkwardly from their position still on the ground, holding him so tight it was almost painful. "H-hey... w... h-hey uh....Why.... w-w-why are you cryin' huh? I-Im the fuck up here. I'm the one makin' everything hard. I'm the one ruining everyones lives.... I'm just scum remember! The dirt on your heels. Why would you care if you suddenly rubbed your shoes clean?"

Lucifer let out a hard, ugly wheeze of a sob for a moment as Mammon only twisted the knife in his chest deeper. "Oh god Mammon... Mammon! Please. It is rare i'm at such a loss for words, but don't you dare... Don't you fucking dare think that even for a second your money would ever be worth more to me than your life. Mammon I have fought tooth and claw to keep you. I fought demons, witches and even heaven alone to keep you and everyone safe. I would do it all again. I... I'm sorry Mammon. I'm sorry I didn't fight harder to see...."

It wasn't long before Mammon was following suit, sobbing back into his brother's shoulder. He couldn't remember the last time Lucifer just held him, or even hugged him really. He couldn't remember the last time it seemed like Lucifer even still loved him. "... Don't.... don't pretend you're not sick of me... you just don't wanna go through all the paperwork it'd take to find a new avatar for greed!" He spat, his irrational anger and fear bubbling up again. It was then Lucifer lifted his head to look his brother dead in the eyes, a look that made Mammon squirm beneath him... A look that cut him to his core. Lucifer only got that look when he was thinking about Lillith. "... Mammon.... I'm sorry. I've failed you as a brother if that thought could have ever crossed your mind...." He assured him, lifting up and cupping his baby brother's cheek. In that moment he saw the baby he held in the celestial realm when he cried from a nightmare. When he scraped his knees and ran to big brother for help. When he followed him into hell. The thought of keeping him safe for so long only to lose him because of his failure as a brother? The thought absolutely broke him.

It was quiet for a moment between them before a startled shriek behind them made both of them jump. Asmo had grown worried, he'd felt a pang of dysphoric desire suddenly hit from Mammon's room so of course he followed after a while. When he saw the noose he felt his blood run cold and couldn't help the feeling of sheer terror. Mammon!?! His stupid, fun, fantastic older brother was trying to kill himself?? He covered his mouth as the tears stung his perfect eyes as he looked- ... oh thank the stars. He was still alive.

Asmo ran in now and Lucifer sat up, Pulling Mammon with him by his bindings. "Mammon! Mammon what the HELL where you thinking!!! How dare you!!!! How dare you try to break my heart that way! I ought to slap you!!!!!" Asmo spat, before throwing himself against his big brother. "How dare you think you can abandon me! Abandon us!! Who else would I talk fashion with?? Satan?? I don't think so!! There's no replacement for you jackass!" He cried, arms wrapped tight over Mammon's shoulders. It wasn't much longer before everyone came rushing up to see what the screaming was about....

And it was then that Mammon finally started to come back down to himself. When he saw how horrified his brothers all looked seeing that single rope hanging from his ceiling. How one little thing could make them all break and rush to his side. 

He didn't really know how to process it. He really couldn't process anything as Beel practically squeezed the life out of him anyways. "Wwwhooah big guy easy- hah… d-don't damage the goods…" Mammon joked. It earned him a firm slap upside the head from Asmo, "You where about to damage the goods permanently asshole!" He hissed as Beel clung so tightly to his older brother. "... Mammon…. Mammon please don't leave. I love you. Mammon we already lost Lilly please … please don't leave me." Beel begged, practically choking on his tears. "I-... I'm not. Ok… I promise ok? Fuck… just stop crying please…." 

Mammon didn't know how he'd move forward from this. He didn't realize he was still so loved either. His guilt began to eat at him, but also his gratitude. And for the first time since the fall, Mammon felt loved. 

_ And god did he ever want more of it. _


End file.
